Hanging Out

"Why don't you go outside and get some friends together to play a game of soccer?" I say to my then 7-year-old, back in 1999. "Who will decide teams and who will be the ref?" she asked in a perturbed and mystified tone. Needless to say, no soccer game took place.

As a child? I was a tomboy. I was an athlete. So much of my "character"—determination, discipline and dedication—comes from my childhood experiences in athletics. My students typically assume I am referring to formal sports teams, like park district or school sponsored programs. Programs where an adult was facilitating all events, from start to finish. Yes, I had coaches. And I loved them and learned from them. But I fondly recall the majority of my childhood evenings being occupied by pick-up basketball or softball games, tag, olly olly oxen free, and just general kid craziness in our back yards. When it was time for bed, my mom would ring the bell to signal the end of the evening. Yes, a bell. We determined a winner and/or settled our differences, and then planned the next get-together.

No, I don't consider myself ancient. I'm only in my 40s, and I still LOVE basketball, working out and running. So as a parent, I am bewildered by how foreign the idea of "pick-up games" is to my kids, which has led me to a more general area of concern. My daughters' days are so scheduled, the idea of simply "hanging out" with friends is somewhat frightening to them. The "down time" they have with their own thoughts and the impromptu interactions with peers is far too scarce. And I have always thought that the institution of education and the underlying political/commercial motives continue to cause our children harm, in so many ways. (A telling poem by Clydia Forehand is worth a read.)

danah boyd has shed light on at least one aspect of why shutting down, controlling and/or "facilitating-to-death" our kids' free time might legitimately stunt their growth in terms of developing social skills. She provides an intriguing perspective in her article Sociality is Learning. Our kids are trying desperately to take back their free time. And they're doing so right in front of our eyes. It's not so much rebellious behavior, but a personal necessity. The uncertainty and awkwardness that we navigated during our adolescence might be (partially) achieved through social media.

Certainly, I have many parental concerns regarding social media—the need for interpersonal communication, the detriments of multitasking, the art of managing time, etc. But perhaps we need to embrace the idea of teaching our children how to navigate this new world. Perhaps we need to "unlearn and relearn" how to teach and fine-tune social interactions. Certainly, as an educator and parent of both a teen and a tween, I have some brainstorming and investigating to do.

As a parent, are you teaching your children the benefits of social media? Are you discussing etiquette? As a parent and/or educator, how might we embrace this world so that children don't feel we're trying to "structure" their "unstructured" social media time? How do we become comfortable with this? Still formulating my questions...Would love to hear your thoughts/questions as well.

Edublog Awards

My nominations for the 2009 Edublog Awards are as follows:

1. Best teacher blog: An American Studies, by Spiro Bolos and John O'Connor

2. Best educational tech support blog: New Trier Curricular Technology, by Spiro Bolos

3. Best individual blog: Metanoia, by Ryan Bretag

Thanks!

Education's Role in Fighting Media Disinformation...?

“The increasingly blatant nature of the nonsense uttered with impunity in public discourse is chilling. Our democratic society is imperiled as much by this as any other single threat, regardless of whether the origins of the nonsense are religious fanaticism, simple ignorance or personal gain.”

This quote caught my eye this morning while perusing my unread RSS feeds. My first thought was, "Exactly! This has gotten completely out of hand. I can't STAND to read or hear the news anymore." I finished reading the Scientific American article, War is Peace: Can Science Fight Media Disinformation? I was hoping to gain some clarity as to how I might prevent myself, my colleagues, my children, my friends and my students from getting hypnotized by media disinformation.

And then it hit me. "Wait. This article in and of itself can be an example of media disinformation, at least in certain areas!" It was actually fun for me to recognize this so quickly. (As I age, I can't tell if I'm getting wiser or just more cynical!) An article in Scientific American would likely provide any reader the comfort of being reliable, being accurate, being "true." After all, it is science, right?

The article contains much to ponder. For instance, the author implies that perhaps free and open access to information, through the internet and 24-hour news programs, is bad. I suppose there might be a point where I would agree, but those reasons would be outside the scope of this post. Instead, I find it very important to allow free access to ideas, even the ideas I personally believe to be false, hypocritical, and/or idiotic. And I, too, have always been curious as to how people get drawn into a seemingly simplistic debate, particularly one rooted in drama rather than evidence. But the one question that really got my reflective juices flowing was, "What makes people so susceptible to nonsense in public discourse?"

And therein lies the key, at least for me. "What makes people..."

If we really want to determine how our life-positions (for me...parent, wife, teacher, friend) can help nurture more intelligent discourse, the answer is not to shut down information. It is rather in providing an honest perspective on the information being considered. And this is challenging. Not only should we ask the "who, what, when, where, how, and why." We must also consider,

"Why do I want to (or not want to) believe, agree, disagree, etc.? From where am I drawing this desire to jump on board (or argue against) a particular stance?"

Students come to our classroom with life experiences. Parents bring their own historical perspective to every conversation with their children. And teachers are PEOPLE. Whether subconsciously or self-aware, we see what we see, feel what we feel, believe what we believe for a reason.

We must be up front about our "life curriculum," especially to ourselves, if we want to have meaningful, constructive, intelligent dialogue. For instance, to make the assumption that an educator, regardless of grade or subject matter, can stand up in front of her class and just "present the facts," or that a parent can be "completely objective" with her child's struggles, is ridiculous. And this mentality is the root of the problem causing the posed craziness in the original question above.

So what can we do? Be honest. Teach one another how to scrutinize information through multiple lenses. Maintain an open-mind, particularly when examining the why and how behind your thinking. Remain open to the idea that some of the most foundational thoughts you have are open for discussion. Your life curriculum is the basis for every interaction you have, as it is for all those whose paths you cross. It is in being aware of this "data" that true growth can begin.

More Reflections

"Driving in traffic is a different kind of hell every day," one of my colleagues quotes a Harvard University psychologist, Daniel Gilbert. "Tell me about it!" I retort. "Never used to bother me, but these days, I really wish I lived close to school! Where did you find the quote and what's the context?"

The article he quoted from is "Critical Mass," by Jonah Lehrer. (SEED, June 2009) It's worth the read, especially if you're like my husband and I. Driving. Driving. Driving. (Or taking the train...) And being worn down by the very thought. Honestly, I've developed a permanent back ache from sitting in my Civic all these years!

In truth, I'm finding myself in a very reflective mood these days. And there are times when the reflection I "see" is a surprise to me. It's both exciting and unsettling, but the beginning to all honest growth always is, I suppose. One thing that has been on my mind is how badly I wish I could take back all the lost minutes of my life that have been spent in a car commuting to and from work over the past fifteen years. But of course, hindsight is 20/20...

Twelve years ago, when my husband and I purchased our home, we did so for more than just the ridiculous size "bang for the buck" we could get; we were looking at schools, affordability, safety, and mostly location. At the time, it was necessary to be close to my parents-in-law; they were both needing extra support for health reasons. Unfortunately, our plan was short-sighted. Don't get me wrong. I have incredibly fond memories of family gatherings, comfortable conversations and warm connections taking place in our home. I also have a treasured peace of mind being a full-time working mom. I've always felt the reassurance that my daughters were safe and our neighbors were really looking out for them. (And of course, we have the best neighbors in the world right next door to us! I wouldn't give that up for anything!)

But, the time I've lost driving has really weighed on my mind these days. Perhaps that's because my girls are older. Not existing in two different worlds would be a welcomed new peace of mind for me. So why did we stay once the parents-in-law no longer needed us? A host of reasons. But none worth mentioning seem to surface at the moment!

"A person with a one-hour commute has to earn 40 percent more money to be as satisfied with life as someone who walks to the office."

Hmmm...Anyone have a cheap helicopter for sale?