What My Dad Taught Me...

...and continues to teach me.

Just as I was on Mother's Day, I find myself particularly nostalgic this year. And the adventurous, reflective, and rewarding life I'm living has much to do with my father's influence. So on Father's Day, I'd like to share a few of the things my dad has taught me over the years.

Some lessons were practical, some were necessary, some were life changing, some happened when I was little, and some happened today. But all of them were a gift from my father.

My dad taught me:

1. how to throw a ball and "have a catch."
2. how to drive a car. And change the oil. And change a flat. And drive over a piece of trash with precision. Using each tire. And drive in reverse for a 1/2 mile. Really. That happened.
3. how to fish. All of it, from making lures with a hot lead mold to building my own rod to "getting it in the net" to filleting. 
4. how to fix things. So many, many things. Gluing chipped ceramic figurines, to patching holes in walls, to fixing running toilets, to repairing broken bicycle chains, etc. All things I broke in the first place.
5. how to create an incredibly abundant garden. From seed. Literally and metaphorically.
6. how to be coachable. "When the coach is interested in your perspective, he'll ask. Otherwise, learn from him." And yes, my Dad was my first, favorite and most insightful coach. (He took stats at every one of my basketball games. Pic below.)
7. that hard work is as nourishing as healthy meals.
8. to think "things" through and prepare for the most likely and most important outcomes.
9. how to think like a scientist.
10. to learn the difference between the quick, convenient decision and a solid, deliberate decision. And that each has its place.
11. how to be physically adept, mentally strong and intellectually competitive while participating in sports. It's part of what put so much fun in sports for me.
12. what the true meaning of respect means. Even if you don't respect a person's decisions, respect his/her position. And that self-respect is the most important kind.
13. that life is too short to worry about things you can't control. Keeping your sense of humor in tact is critically important during those moments.
14. to maintain an appropriate balance between academics, athletics, a social life and a spiritual life.
15. right from wrong. And that sometimes it's not that simple.
16. how to be calm in times of stress.
17. how to embrace confusion. If you push past it, you'll learn something.
18. how to advocate for myself. Intelligently.
19. that family is everything.
20. ...and so much more.

I love you, Dad!

I look forward to spending time with you this summer!

I Mowed The Lawn Today...

...and it was a BLAST! :)

Yes, I'm one of those crazy individuals; I actually enjoy yardwork, not just the gardening part. I love it all!

I'm certain it stems from the endless, fun-filled hours I spent with my dad as a kid. Perhaps this post should wait 'til father's day, but I'm on a yardwork high, so here goes.

It's been a while since I've mowed the lawn because we've had yard service for the past four years. In trying to save money, I gave it up this year. But I really don't know why I ever got it in the first place. Seriously. It's such a feeling of satisfaction when you get the yard cleaned up. And with every pass, I could hear my dad's voice:

• "What pattern are you gonna leave in the yard this time, Tad?"
• "Check the oil. Check the gas. Fill it up if you need to. Just don't flood it when you prime it. We don't have time for that. Rain's movin' in quickly!"
• "Don't bump the tree trunks."
• "Careful not to nick the blade on the water pipe."
• "Don't run over the flowers!"
• "You'd better bag it this time; it's too long to leave."
• (When the whole gang was out working...) "Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty." Then looks at me, chuckles, "That's not a problem for you now is it, Tad?"
• "Lift the bag with your legs, not your back."
• "Sweep up the clippings. And remember to pull the broom as often as you push it. And trade hands so you're sweeping with your weak arm as often as your strong arm. Good training for basketball." :)
• "I hate the self-propelled mode on the mower. It's a safety hazard. Don't be a wuss; use your muscles and just push the damn thing." (So that's where I get these guns, eh Dad?! Hahaha!)
• "Clean the mower when you're done. If it doesn't last 20 years, you haven't taken care of it."
• "Nice job, Tad. Good on ya."

Perhaps a silly post, but feeling nostalgic. LOVE reliving these moments. Think it's time for a visit to Morris! :)

What My Mom Taught Me...

My mom has taught me more about love and life than I will ever be able to comprehend. As the years progress, I find myself reflecting more and more on my mom's inner strength, humility and integrity. I am older now and have some life experiences to realize just how remarkable this woman is. Just how much she has taught me in terms of every day living—being a strong, intelligent, loving, compassionate woman. She does it every single day. Just by being her.

Some lessons were practical, some were necessary, some were life changing, some happened when I was little, and some happened today. But all of them were a gift from my mother.

My mom taught me:

1. how to make a bed. Perfectly.
2. how to change a diaper. I had so much practice with my younger siblings, it was old hat by the time I had kids!
3. how to wrap and hold and bathe and dress and rock and feed a baby.
4. how to fold t-shirts. And towels. And men's underwear. (Why? Seriously...)
5. how to vacuum, dust, shake rugs, clean bathrooms, wash windows, sweep, polish silver, and do dishes. K.P. every night!
6. that "By the inch, life's a cinch. By the yard, life is hard."
7. that it's hard not to lose your identity when you're a mother of young kids. But it comes back. 
8. that asking for help can be difficult, particularly for someone like me who likes to do it all on my own. "Do it anyway, Sweetheart. Everyone needs help from time to time. It's not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of intelligence. Besides, that's what I'm here for."
9. that being a really competitive athlete AND a "sexy woman" were not mutually exclusive. ;)
10. how to laugh at yourself. To really belt out a chuckle when you do something "silly." It's healthy. And contagious.
11. to find time for yourself, however brief, every day.
12. how to hug. How to really give someone a hug that says, "You are all that matters in this moment. Can you feel it?"
13. right from wrong. And that sometimes it's not that simple.
14. how to protect the underdog.
15. that when you lose someone close to you, your Mom is there to hold you together.
16. that when you are worried about your newborn, or your toddler, or your grade schooler, or your teenager, or your child at any age, your Mom is there to talk you through it.
17. when someone makes you feel like a million bucks, your mom is there to listen to the story. And to be sincerely happy for you.
18. that family is everything.
19. that there's nothing more challenging and simultaneously rewarding than being a Mommy, a Mom, a Ma, a Momma, a Mother.
20. how to love. Unconditionally. I think she wrote the book.
21. that it's important to pass it all on. 
22. ...and so much more.

I love you, Mom!

I look forward to spending time with you this summer!

Sedona or Bust :)

Upon reflection, I think this post title can be taken literally. Let me explain.

Spring Break for my district officially began 3/20. I have a contract stating that I should partake in said break. Instead, I worked 3/21, 3/22, 3/23, 3/24, and 3/25. Healthy? Of course not. I spent the time determining all the things I should be doing, could be doing, wanted to be doing, and hated doing. So I really didn't accomplish much, other than to exponentially increase my stress level. I was ready to BUST!

So on Wednesday night, I bought a ridiculously priced plane ticket to Sedona, Arizona.

I'm glad I listened to two very important people in my life who suggested I go. I needed this!

Why there? Well why NOT? It's beautiful and has everything I love. The sun, hiking and peace.

It was a life-altering trip. I don't say that lightly. In fact, I've said that in reference to five experiences in my life so far. This was number six. So it should go without saying I'm still processing, and likely will be for some time. But I'd like to share a few things that serendipitously surfaced for me over the past couple weeks. Realizations I've made upon reflection, not reasons why I went in the first place.

1. I Miss Being an EXPLORER. When I was younger, everyone used to describe me as independent and curious, along with a few other choice descriptors, I'm sure. I used to "get lost" on my own—for HOURS—exploring. Around the neighborhood, in the creek, up a tree, down the basement, at the park. I would discover or do something new all the time. By myself! I've realized that I have misplaced that treasured practice over the years and I got to wondering about when and why that happened. Why would I give up opportunities for such formative, exciting, nurturing experiences? Which leads me to...
2. I enjoyed getting lost again. ALONE. I really loved going to a new location and exploring again. I suggest this for everyone. But go by yourself. Pick a destination that has no friends or family at the other end. (An event on the other end is still open for discussion.) I now realize how important it is to allow yourself the vulnerable feeling of only being responsible for yourself, a feeling that many of us embraced as children. This trip was invigorating because I was getting to navigate the world without any support or accountability other than my own character and instinct. It was the most rejuvenating, challenging, and rewarding experience I've had in a very long time. I chose to be completely disconnected from not only technology, but responsibility for others. And I LOVED it. I introduced myself to a side of Joan I haven't seen in a while. I allowed myself to be as courageous and vulnerable as I was when I was twelve. :)
3. I'm glad I went somewhere NEW. A suggestion if you're going to try this adventure? Pick a brand new destination, a place you'll enjoy exploring. Don't cloud your adventure by choosing a location that has memories of/with others; it will destroy the potential this trip has to offer. I now have a place that's all my own. And I plan to return. (Maybe someday I'll share it with others. If I do, I'll immediately pick a new place to explore on my own.)
4. I listened to NEW MUSIC. Everyone I know finds music an integral part of travel. (So if you don't, this doesn't apply.) But listening to music that carries memories or moods from other experiences will suffocate the creation and impact of truly new adventures. So I'm glad I happened to be in the mood to listen to new artists while on this trip. When I hear certain songs, I am immediately transported back to Sedona. A lovely feeling!
5. I was SPONTANEOUS and TRIED NEW THINGS. One included climbing a mountain. :)
   
   And I'm thrilled I did. My suggestion is to do something you wouldn't do if someone else was with you. Something that by your definition is healthy, of course. But something that nudges you outside your comfort zone. Something that will allow you to either share the story when you return, or not. But that will expand your horizons and help you grow. As I said, I did a few new things, all spontaneous decisions while there. I'm so happy I did; I've grown.

Of course I look forward to future vacations with others. Taking trips with people whose company you enjoy—people who enhance your being and nurture your soul—is just as important. But I do look forward to my next lone adventure in Sedona. And I'm glad so much of my childhood courage and personality resurfaced. The memories of feeling a sense of freedom to explore and of pushing the boundaries of creativity have fueled my intellect and spirit. Just the adventure I needed to enthusiastically end the school year!